Okay. Real talk. When you think about healing and awakening and breaking generational curses and setting your lineage free, I. You feel like it's some goddess beautiful journey, like aha moment, but it's really not. When you really do it, you realize you wanna be vomiting on a toilet because you cannot handle the truth.
'cause it breaks you wide open, everything exposed and you're like, oh my God, I believed a lie my entire life. That is what we're gonna talk about in today's episode of Dichotomy with Shannon Let's talk about what it actually means to be the one who breaks the generational patterns, the trauma, , the survival scripts, the silence. Here's the part that nobody tells you. Being the pattern breaker doesn't come with a parade. Some of the people aren't even here on Earth anymore. So you're literally doing it by yourself, for yourself, and for your bloodline.
So, no, it doesn't come with a parade. It comes with a lot of grief, a lot of isolation, and this eerie silence when you finally say, this effed up story will not be mine anymore. I'm picking myself up. I'm getting myself out of whatever the situation is.
I'm gonna claim peace, love, light over my life, abundance, and I'm not gonna keep going through the lack and through the survival.
You know, you might have people that see you and they are cheering you on. They want to see you healed, but they have no idea of the tears that you're crying. They're seeing this version of you that's out and about trying to make . Beautiful things happen for your life.
You're not acting out of survival skills anymore,
where are they when you're in your car? Crying between errands. Wondering if staying stuck. Might've been easier than setting yourself free. 'cause this is painful. It's isolating at times.
I know that place. I've lived that place. I was the one who said no more. , No more to a life that looked fine on the outside, but was silently eroding me from the inside. I broke cycles , without a blueprint. I raised babies while re-parenting myself and showing up as the mother that I needed when I was a child.
Sometimes it's really sucky and I'm a helicopter mom and sometimes my trauma outweighs my intuition, which I'm working on. Right. But it is work. I'm telling you, not because I figured it all out, but because I know how it feels to be you. The one that's breaking free, the one that's doing the work, the one who's saying, this ends here with me. Now I.
And to nerd out, I wanna nerd out because I love science, right? I love science and spirituality. Hello. Dichotomy. Anyway, , when you're free from a pattern, you are literally rewiring your brain. Old neuropathways, the ones that were built in survival. They are so strong because they're familiar and your brain doesn't know, if the pattern is toxic or not.
It cares that it's predictable. It's easy there, so it's just gonna keep doing , the thing that it knows the old wiring, because that's what it knows. Now when you introduce a new wiring, a new neuro pathway.
Let's say if you set a boundary, when you say no, when you used to choose people pleasing over your own instincts or your peace, then your brain freaks out a little bit. Not because you're doing something wrong, but because you're doing something new. So say when you're a kid and there's fire on the stove and the brain goes, ah, touch it, you're gonna get burned. So we want fear, right? Fear serves us at some point, but you need to stop, take a step back and thank the fear. The fear that once kept you safe, it's not serving you anymore, now it's holding you back. Now you wanna create the new neuro pathways so you can live the life free and abundant without the bondage, the chains that have held you back and your ancestors back.
Eons.
The discomfort is actually alignment. It's not destruction. So again, thank your brain for doing its job. But I got it from here. I can take it on from here, Brian. Thank you. Same with anxiety. When anxiety creeps in, people say, give anxiety a name like Karen and be like, oh, not today, Karen.
I don't agree with that. I. I think anxiety could be a loving thing. It's part of you. Why hate part of yourself? If you are so obsessed with your own anxiety and you're hating that part of you, then you're hating part of your oneness, your wholeness. So learn to accept, Hey, anxiety know what? I don't need you anymore because this is a little crazy. Thanks for your thoughts. I think I'm fine.
Your nervous system has to learn that safety is allowed. That love doesn't come with pain. That provision doesn't have to follow panic. You're not just healing on an emotional level, you're healing on a biological level, you are the living, breathing, epigenetic upgrade to your bloodline.
Trauma gets passed down through gene expression. But guess what? The universal law of polarity, right? What's good? It's bad. The ying, the yang. So does healing. So yes, you can pass down your trauma, but you can also pass down your healing.
This is holy work that you're doing. It's not just for peace. It is rewriting your DNA for your children to inherit. Talk about an olive branch. Talk about a love language. Yeah. Okay. That's my love language. I cured our generational curses.
And the spiritual layer, the part that I can't even leave out if I tried. You might be wondering why, God, why if this hurts so badly, is this really from you? Because healing hurts, but I'm gonna be real. Jesus didn't die so you could tolerate dysfunction with a holy smile on your face. Keep showing up because that's your bloodline.
Put a smile on your face. God bless her. Here's a casserole, here's some pearls. Let me feel better on the outside when I'm really crumbling on the inside. No, Jesus died. So you could live in freedom and not just afterlife freedom, but real life freedom right here, right now. There are so many Christians that I love and respect and adore that are so excited to die to get to heaven where they're gonna be free.
No, I feel like that's a wasted life. . God wants you to make those choices now. Live your life abundantly now. Don't waste this life. . . Choose freedom in Christ. Don't wait to die. How is that gonna make the kingdom better? I don't understand that theology.
. What you're doing right now matters. Your choices now matter. How you show up for yourself, for the world how you love humanity matters. How you love yourself matters. I can say this to on blue in the face, and some people just aren't gonna get it.
You get it. Because you're doing it. . You're ready for a lighter load, man, like peace, love, and happiness. There's something to it.
The pressure to carry everyone else's comfort at the expense of your calling is not from God
god is not glorified in your exhaustion.
He is glorified in your wholeness, in your peace, in your authenticity.
In the way that you stand in truth, even if it costs you your cheering section and friendships. I always say this. Level up or level out, , when you're leveling up, you're vibrating at a higher frequency. They're either gonna come meet you where you're at, or they're gonna get out of your life.
And that's a good thing. Because where you are going, they cannot come.
Isaiah 43. Behold, I am doing a new thing now. It springs forth. You do not perceive it.
Here's the catch before the new thing blooms. God has to remove the old, the old patterns that are not serving you anymore. They have gotta die. It's like a resurrection. They cannot come with you. It's a new lifetime. Behold, I am doing something new.
Yes, I know that sometimes it feels like everything is burning around you, and I know that it feels like it's a destruction, but I don't think it is. I think it's a renovation for bigger and better. Have you ever seen that meme of Jesus? And he is holding , a big giant bear behind him, the little girl's holding her little teddy bear.
And Jesus says, , hand it over to me. And she's like, but I don't want to. And he's got a bigger bear behind she just has to trust what he's saying. She just has to give him the little bear. And she's gonna get the giant one behind him. We have to trust that little whisper, that little voice inside of us.
That's the Holy Spirit that's trying to guide us to our highest timeline. We just have to take that step. In faith, it's hard sometimes. The more that you do it, the more neuro pathways are created and the easier it gets to trust the Lord.
Let me pause and ask you what is something right now that God is asking you to do that you're having a hard time trusting?
What is a cycle that you are breaking right now that nobody is seeing?
What is an old version of you that you are quietly grieving? You kind of like that part, but you know that you need to say bye to that part to go to where you're going.
What if discomfort isn't always a red flag, but a green light , into your alignment? What has helped me and anchors me when the waves hit is I name the patterns out loud. . Say the emotion. Oh, I'm feeling really sad right now. I'm feeling so lonely right now, but this is me choosing peace even if it feels lonely. This is me creating a boundary, even if it feels unsafe. Also regulating before you act. You know, a feeling can only last really 90 seconds.
So if you stop entertaining that feeling, you can sit back, get out of the loop, regulate your nervous system, because your nervous system is not your enemy. It's just been programmed to survive. So try a cold rinse, try a grounding prayer. You can even chew gum and your brain registers eating as safety.
You can do micro safety reps where you just honor one small moment every single day where you show your body. We are safe now. We do not live there anymore. The more you do that, the more your body begins to realize that it can trust you.
I wanna talk about the grief for a moment because if you are doing the work, you are going to feel it. You can have grief for the parent that never protected you. You can have grief for the version of you who bent so far that she completely disappeared.
You can even have grief for the comfort of chaos that you finally walked away from. Sometimes when you're in survival for so long and you release yourself from that situation, you do get sick. Your body's finally safe enough to feel all the things that it hasn't been able to feel because you've been in fight or flight for so long.
You are allowed to feel all of that grief, doesn't mean you're broken. It actually means that you're honest and , that ache in you. It's not failure. It's almost like a funeral. Of who you were never meant to be. So you can bury that version of you with so much love. Could be a celebration of life, have a party, sing some karaoke, whatever.
If you are doing all this work, you might be feeling really alone in this season because it is lonely, but that is a lie that you have to continue to do it alone. I strongly encourage you to be vocal, find a group, find a mentor, find a friend that you can be so raw and real with.
. Isolation though during the healing isn't rejection and it is necessary because it's initiation. God often separates you before he elevates you. Sometimes he has to clear the room so you finally hear his voice. So you don't have grandma's voice and mom's voice , and my best friends and the church pastor and whoever
you gotta get all those other voices out of your head so you can hear from the living God that lives inside of you you are doing the work for yourself and for your children and , your children's children and so on, that's a freaking brave job. You're getting rid of all the junk from your ancestors that has been passed on to you and what you had to live through your own traumas. You're getting rid of all of that. . You're incredible. That's hard work and you're doing it. You are the brave person taking that next step for your family. That's love.
You are the answer to the prayers that they didn't even have language for. You are becoming who they didn't believe they could be.
So if you're in the wilderness, that space where your old life doesn't fit and the new one isn't quite built, I wanna bless that process for you. Don't rush it, don't glamorize it. Just honor it. And I know that it's hard because I am there too. I am like in the void between one chapter and the next, between the old version of me who I can love and honor and say thank you for where you were and the decisions that you made, and you did the best you could with the resources that you had.
And the next step is my higher self. It's like she's already here. The bones, the foundation is getting built right now, but I'm not quite there. It's fricking crazy here. It's muddy. It's sad, it's lonely. I cry. I get it. But , I know. And I have faith that once I do turn the page, holy crap, what my life is gonna look like.
I'm ready. Being in the wilderness is not proof that you're lost. It's proof that you left Egypt.
The Israelites study that I'm not a Bible teacher, but study that. Study that story,
And you need to remember and ask yourself this, say, am I willing to be misunderstood for the sake of being free? Honestly, freedom doesn't come from fitting in or trying to get yourself into a box that you need to to make others feel comfortable, but it comes through when you're finally becoming who you are created to be.
What you're doing is sacred work. And I think it's incredible. So from one sister to another, thank you for doing the work. So our daughters and sons are gonna be raised in a much better world. And our lineages, thank us. And we got this. We're gonna keep on going. And if you wanna community or you wanna work one-on-one with me, the link is in my bio and let's do it.
I'm here to hold your hand 'cause I need you too. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Dichotomy with Shannon. Y'all are a bunch of trailblazers. Keep going.