Hey guys. Welcome to Dichotomy with Shannon. I'm so glad you're here. Today we're gonna talk about the dichotomy of chaos verse connection. It's something very dear to me because I had to put in years and years of rewiring my subconscious mind. I. To realize that, oh, this is chaos. This isn't connection.
Sometimes you have that gut feeling. It could be with a lover, oh, I can't eat, can't sleep, this person, blah, blah, blah. When really it's your body screaming at you, please run for the hills. We've been here before and this does not serve us, we romanticize so many things that isn't fitting for us.
It's also not just lovers. It could be family members, it could be narcissistic parents , it can be friends that you need to burn the bridge, which we'll talk about how to burn a bridge in a little bit. But I wanna talk about your connection.
If your gut. Is reacting if your nervous system can't breathe when you're around somebody, I think that you need to pay attention to that if you think that a safe person is boring and you imagine things like, I literally had this story once of a really kind gentleman that was pursuing me, and he was so nice that I literally thought he was probably a murderer murdering people in his basement.
That wasn't my intuition. That was because I was afraid of normalcy because I'm like where's the chaos? Why aren't you yelling at me? You don't love me 'cause you don't have passion. I confused it with passion. It took a lot of work to rewire myself
Sometimes in the boredom of life, we can create our own chaos because we want drama, because we think that is love when it's not. Sometimes we're very afraid of creating boundaries because we don't wanna hurt another person's feelings, or it's a family member and you're trauma bonded to them.
Trauma bonding is actually very real, and I promise you, once you burn the bridge here, I'm saying it again. You will see doors open for you in an insane way fast too. It happens quick. Once you realize your worth and you decide who gets to have a seat at your table and these trauma bonds, these people that weren't really good for you are out of your life.
Whew. It goes like that and attracts like. So you start attracting different people that are good for you, that's gonna help you level up in your life because you're finally in their frequency. So if you find yourself like vibrating at a lower frequency around other people, it's time to get a new group.
Guys. It's time to get people that truly believe in you that are praying for you behind your back, not talking about you that wanna see you win, that aren't jealous. Let's talk about the burning the bridge. I had a situation. Throughout my life, probably many times, but one recently with a friend, and I am talking about burning a bridge.
Not in a bad way, not like ruining a person's life, not gossiping and telling all their secrets and embarrassing them. I'm not talking like that. I'm talking, they're dead to you. They no longer have a seat at your table. They're literally dead to you if you see them, you don't. Even care because it doesn't phase you anymore.
Once you do that, you'll just see that you are catapulting in another direction with new places, new friends, new opportunities that are just waiting for you to close that door, because sometimes that door on the other side that is waiting to open cannot open until you close the door that you know you're supposed to close, but you're afraid to close it.
Chaos feels like connection. If that's all you've ever known, peace feels foreign. Peace feels uncomfortable because you don't know that's actually normal and good for your body because your poor neuro pathways haven't created that life yet, and so you have to rewire them.
The familiar is comfortable with us, even if it's not serving us.
Trauma loops get reinforced inside of you over and over again, hence creating the pathway in your brain to think that's normal. We can fix this. It is not your fault that you grew up with your nervous system dysregulated. However, it is your responsibility to now fix it, especially if you're an adult.
If you're tired of living this way, it's time to level up. It's time to put in the work to love yourself more, to do the affirmations, to have the self-worth to preprogram your brain. You can do it. If I can do it, anybody can do it.
If people are giving you mixed signals, if a friend only shows up when they need your attention and it's chaos and they don't serve and love you back, it's not reciprocated. Say bye, I think it's really important to take a step back when you're around somebody or if even you get a text on the phone. How did that feel? How did that make you feel? If you felt ill in your belly, gut punched, or if you are not breathing when you're around that person, I. Pay attention to that. That's your nervous system because the body keeps the score and the body is beautiful.
We are gonna have another episode on the body keeping the score with conflicts. Ask yourself, how does this person make me feel? Do I feel seen, respected, loved, and honored? That's what you deserve to feel. I have this exercise that I practice because I am one of those that used to give my power to anybody who would take it because I felt like I needed love and to be loved.
I needed to give them all of me. I would be exhausted after leaving certain people or walking on eggshells. So I have this exercise and I'm going to share it with you where I would, I will close my eyes. And I'll picture the power that I've given that person leaving that person's body from the top of their head and coming to me into my head, and I see my energy.
Picture, your energy leaving that person and coming back to you to home where your energy belongs. It's with you, and that energy will be exhausted and so grateful. It's back with you. . That is something that's necessary that you need to do and that you need to practice, especially if you are a codependent, hello, recovering, codependent, recovering people person because I just wanted love my whole life.
I just wanted to be love and love. Not everybody gets a seat at your table. The Bible talks about not giving pearls to swine Discernment is huge. Let's use it. Let's use our intuition that God has given us because it's there for a reason.
You need to love yourself. Practice self-love. That is not new age, that is not against the Lord. The Bible says, love thy neighbor as thyself. Why do we forget about as thyself? You are to love yourself. And to love yourself is to practice boundaries. It's to say no to what is not serving you.
Loving others is creating boundaries. Otherwise, you're just an enabler.
I think there are some very important questions to ask yourself with this. What did I learn growing up? Who did I learn to shrink to be around so other people could be comfortable? How am I breathing around these next people that are gonna come into my life from now on? Pay attention to it.
You were never hard to love. You were just taught that love was hard. That's the little survivor in you guys. She just wanted love, attention, affection, which is what you should have had when you were born instead of being born into a home full of chaos and survival mentality.
If you're stuck in the cycle, I promise you it doesn't have to be that way. The minute you decide to make your subconscious conscious. Because your subconscious runs the show. The minute you decide to bring awareness to this, it's going to change because then you know, I don't need to create chaos.
I don't need to create drama. And if this person's constantly doing this and they make me very uncomfortable, you're gonna burn that bridge. And that is okay because you love yourself. And to love yourself is to love others and to make the world a better place. Start with you.
Patterns don't have to be repeated. . You have the power to stop it right now, and those that need a little bit of help with it, that's why I started the true self revolution. Go to it. Www dot true self revolution. Join it. It's about to launch. So you guys are getting in now.
Add your email. You'll be on the wait list. I'm gonna hold your hand. We're gonna work together. I'm gonna teach you literally everything. I know everything I know. So if I can help you crumble the timelines faster than what it took me, I would love to serve you and love you through that. Thank you guys so much for listening to Dichotomy with Shannon, and I'll see you on the next episode.